Ican't keep this anymore
by DevilishAries42
Summary: What happens when Sam and Spencer finally stop lying about their feelings. What happens when Carly finds out?


ICan't keep it anymore:

It was her best kept secret her favorite secret she had. The best part was no one knew not even Carly her best friend. She loved having this secret just between her and him. For the longest time she had a big crush on her best friends older brother. There was just something about him that drove her wild. He was so goofy, and outgoing and crazy. He was never afraid to be himself no matter who was around. Plus he was a lot older which was a huge turn on to her. She loved the way his arms felt around her waist, the way he kissed her everything about him drove her the best kind of crazy.

Spencer stood there in the hallway with the beautiful blond in front of him. He has her pushed against the wall. One hand on her hip the other gently held her face as they kissed. She has one of her hands tangled in his hair the other one was around his waist. She felt so happy right here was where she loved to be. They finally parted and he rested his forehead against hers, as they looked at each other with such passion.

"God, I love this. Being here with you kissing you. You have no idea how long I have dreamed of this."  
"You're not the only one baby."  
She never thought she would love that so much, but the sound of him calling her that made her weak and he knew it.

Spencer gave her his infamous smirk. Suddenly they heard the door open and Carly's voice rang out.

"SPENCER! SAM!" Carly yelled.

Spencer put a finger to Sams lips. They smiled at each other. Carly called out aging as Spencer leaned down and kissed her once more.

You go first he said. She winked at him and did as he instructed.

"Hey carly." Sam said walking around the corner. Spencer was right behind her.  
"Sup kiddo." Spencer said greeting his sister.

She gave them a weird look "What were you guys doing?"  
"Oh. I was just in the bathroom Sam said. Shurgging.

"I was uh folding laundry in my room." Spencer told his little sister walking into the kitchen where the two girls sat eating a snack.

"Whatever. Anyways Freddie and you are both spending the night tonight."

"Right the Icarly anniversary, okay as long as you feed me."  
"You know I would never let you go hungry Sammy." Spencer said without even thinking or noticing he had slipped. He was the only person she let get away with calling her that. Normally she hated it but when he said it, she loved it. It gave her goosebumps.

"Sammy?" Carly questioned catching the unusal name drop by spencer.

"Huh?" Spencer asked acting like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"You just called Sam Sammy." She informed him pointing at Spencer.

"OH. Well I didn't mean to. It was a slip up. Don't beat me with your butter sock please." He pleaded as though he believed she would hurt him.

"Eh, you gave me food so I'll let it slip this time." Sam said warningly pointing at him and giving him a warning look. He put his hands up in defense. Carly already moved on and was talking to Freddie. Spencer gave her a wink and walked over and sat on the couch and Sam sat right next to him so close she was practaly on his lap. Carly and Freddie came in and sat next to them. They began their night with some movies. The next thing Spencer knew he was waking up with Sam asleep against him, she had her head on his shoulder and arm over his stomach he had his arm around her and laid his head on hers. He kissed her cheek to and she cuddled into him and he leaned down and whispered to her.

"Sammy wake up." Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him her blue eyes sparkling.

"I'm going to wake everyone up so we can get ready for bed."

"Okay" She sat up and stretched.

"Cover your ears Love."

Sam gave him a weird look and did as he said. Spencer grabbed his airhorn and blew it.

Carly and Freddie who were also cuddled up together on the couch jumped awake and both fell off the couch.

Carly stood up and straighten her hair and clothes.

"SPENCER!" The both yelled at the sametime.  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" Freddie shouted.

"Fastest way to wake you all up." Spencer said with a shrudge.

"Yeah and why is it that Sam is unaffected by this?" Carly asked pointing at her blond best friend.

"Oh I was already awake I had to pee when he said he was wakin you guys up." Sam said matter of factly.

"Kiss me." She playfully demanded. He did as she asked and like he usually did he gently grabbed her chin and lifted it so her lips met his. He kissed her, with all the passion he held all day.  
"God I missed that. I hate not being able to do that whenever I want." She pouted.

"Whatever let make up the bed so we can go to sleep." The all gathered the blankets and pillows and made a big bed on the floor in the living room. Sam laid down then Carly next to her then Freddie then Spencer. He wanted so bad to lay with Sam and kiss her goodnight but he couldn't Carly was already asleep when Sam and Spencer settled in. Carly was facing Freddie and they were laying against each other and he had his arm over her. Spencer figured he would deal with it later right now all he cared about was the fact that Sam was on the other side of the room.  
"Carly are you sleeping?" Sam whispered. She got no response Spencer asked Freddie if he was awake and also got no response. Sam took the opportunity to get up grab her pillow and go over and lay next to Spencer. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. All he was able to think about was the fact that he was laying right next to Sam, her skin against his as she was only in shorts and a tank top. He couldn't help but get turned on as she kissed him and cold skin against his warm skin.  
"You must be enjoying yourself" she teased feeling him against her. His face turned red with embarrassment.

"Oh, I uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean.." He stammered.

"Don't be sorry. At least I know you are attracted to me." She said smirking at him and kissing him again.

"Of course I am. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

They snuggled into each other and fell asleep.

Carly and Freddie woke up first and stole a good morning kiss. They stood up Carly realized Sam was no longer sleeping next to her. Suddenly her eyes widening. Freddie gave her a questioning look as he turned around to see Sam and Spencer cuddled up with each other. He was asleep on his back and she had her head on his chest his arm wrapped tightly around her. Spencer had a smile on his face even though he was sound asleep. They stood next to them, Carly cleared her throat and kicked the lightly to wake them up.

"What's going on?" Sam asked annoyed. Burying her face deeper into spencer, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

"Huh?" A sleepy Spencer groaned.

"WAKE UP!" Carly shouted. This time they both jumped awake looking at each other Spencer smiled at the girl in his arms before realizing what was happening. They quickly separated and stood up.

"What's up?" Sam asked as though nothing had happened.

"That's what I want to know" Carly said with a huff. Spencer spoke up and responded  
"Calm down. Carly nothing happened."

"Anyways" Sam said. "You and Fredweird were all cuddly and lovely I got lonely and cold so I laid with Spencer and he kept me warm. That's it."  
"Uh huh" Carly said not sure if she believed them.  
"okay! " Spencer " exclaimed with a dramatic clap.  
"Heres what's going to happen. Freddie you go home and shower and change Carly you go upstairs and use your shower, Sam you use mine and I will start breakfast. Okay?" He clapped his hands again like he does. The teens all went in different directions. Carly stood at the top of the stairs waiting to see if anything happened once she heard Spencer in the kitchen and the shower turn on she walked up the stairs and went to shower.

Sam was the first to finish and she walked right over to Spencer who was in the kitchen.  
"Finally" Spencer said. He walked over and pulled Sam into him and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around

his waist. He pushed her up against the door in the kitchen and put his strong arms around her thin waist. They kissed for so long they finally broke apart for air.  
"Damn Momma need some of that." Sam said smiling at him. He grinned at her.

"OH MY GOD!" They heard a shriek of Carly. They spun around to see Freddie and Carly who stood there shocked staring at them.

"I knew it. I knew there was something going on. How long has this been going on?" She asked.

Spencer stared at her and walked to the counter he ran a hand through his long messy hair. Then turned back to Sam without answering his sisters question,

"What's going on here?" Carly asked again more demanding.

"Um he was teaching me how to kiss?" Sam offered knowing they wouldn't believe her.

"What?! That's bull Sam tell me the truth!" She demanded, hands on her hips.

"I. I. I just I just can't keep doing this. I can't do it anymore." Spencer said dramatically throwing his hands up."

"What? Sneak around with my best friend behind my back?!"

"Spencer." Sam started. Her voice cracking. She sounded like she was going to cry. Something Freddie and Carly had never heard from her.

"Spencer. Are." She could barely get the words out she felt the tears burning her eyes threatening to spill out.  
"Are. Are you. Breaking up with me?" She asked looking into his eyes. Hers sparkling with tears.

"What?!" He exclaimed.

"BREAK UP? AS IN YOU ARE DATING?!" Carly shouted unable to keep her cool anymore.

"NO! No no no no no. Spencer said shaking his head as he took her hands in his.  
"I mean I can't do this secret thing. I don't want to. I want to be able to kiss you whenever the fuck I want. I want to be able to grab you and hold your beautiful body in my arms everytime you walk through that door. I want the world to know that YOU are MINE. Most importantly I want everyone to know that I Spencer Shay am completely and totally crazy in love with Samatha Pucket. I'm done hiding because I'm not sorry and I'm not ashamed." He was still holding her hands and looking into her eyes.

"You. You. Love me? Like for real?" She asked in disbelief.

He laughed pulling her close to him and held her face kissing her.  
"Yes I really truly love you. Like an epic love that consumes me." He said tucking a curl behind her ear.

"You have never said that to me before."  
"The time never seemed right. But here and now it does."

"I love you too Spence." He couldn't stop himself he pulled her in and kissed her. He kissed her with every emotion he held for her.

"Um hello!" Carly shouted reminding them that she was still there.

"One of you better start talking. Now." She was still yelling and her now came out with a shriek.

As much as he loved his little sister he was irritated at her. For her attitude.

"Listen Carly. This has nothing to do with you. We didn't do any of this or keep this from you to hurt you. It was wasn't safe for anyone to know."  
"What you think I would tell someone? You actually think I would turn you in or something?" She accused. Hurt that they didn't trust her.

"No we didn't think that Carls." Sam said.  
"Part of it was that it wasn't safe for people to know but for me it was also because I wanted this just to myself. I wanted just one good thing that was all mine, something I didn't have to share. I have never had anything good in my life that was only mine. Then one day that all changed, he changed."

"Have you guys had sex "She asked angrly?

"What? No Carly. We haven't not that that is any of your business being as I am still your big brother." He shot back becoming fed up with her childishness.

"I don't believe you."

"Carly you just don't get it. That's not what this is. That's not what any of this is even about, it's not about sex."

"So what then. You are just waiting because it's illegal and your afraid."  
"Carly. Ease up a little." Freddie said.

"Yeah Carly we are waiting. Yes part of it is because she isn't 18 but the most of it is because this. Us it's about love not sex. I don't care if we do it she is 18 or 19 or if we don't do it until she is 20 whatever. I don't care about sex that's not what I want, all I want is her.

"Let me guess the day you turn 18 you two are jumping in bed together?"

"Oh my god Carly. Are you even listening to us? No we have not had sex. Yes we are waiting. No we don't have a set date. Yes I want to wait for her to be 18 but I love her. I am completely crazy in love with this beautiful crazy fun girl. I am heart stoping can't catch my breath never felt this way before in love with her and I will fight for her and I will always chose her. This right here is why we didn't tell you guys because we know you wouldn't be happy for us!" He shot back now angry.

Sam took his face in her hands and told him to look at her, to focus on her. She wanted him to calm down. He looked into her eyes and took a breath recentering himself. She was so good at that. Good at keeping him calm.

"But how did this even come to be?" Freddie asked speaking for the first time.

"Let's sit down"  
Spencer and Sam looked at each other remembering the first day things changed.  
"Do you remember when you two went to Ashlyn'd for that school trip during the summer? Well my mom's new boyfriend was at the house and she was gone and…" She shivered as she relived the memory.

"Sammy. Baby you don't have to talk about this, you don't have to relive it. If they aren't going to be happy for us like we were for them then you don't need to go through that pain again. He said protectively. Squeezing her thigh.  
"No it's fine, they need to know. They need to know the truth.

"Anyway her boyfriend was there and I came home from school and he was drunk. He. He beat me, like broken ribs beat me. I didn't know what to do I couldn't walk I couldn't see through one eye, so I called the only person I could think of. The only person I knew would drop everything to help me. I called Spencer and he came over right away. He beat the shit of him and then he took me to the hospital and he stayed by my side through the whole thing. That was when I realized how bad my crush had gotten. Anyway that's why I moved in here. The first few nights I tried to sleep in your room but I had such bad nightmares that every night I would be screaming in my sleep and Spencer would have to come running upstairs to help me through it. I realized the only time I felt safe enough to sleep was when he was with me. Not just in the same room but when he was holding me. It felt like the only safe place in my whole world was right there in his arms. I knew nothing could hurt me when he was there."

"So that's when I decided to move her into my room so she could sleep with me, where she felt safe. I had the urge to protect her because I realized that I didn't see her as little sister like I tried to convince myself I did. I realized I had real feelings for her and I didn't want to deny them anymore."

Carly wiped a tear from her cheek. "Oh my god Sam I wish you had told me I wish I could have been there for you. I'm your best friend I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry I have been so awful. I really am happy for you guys."

"I know you would Carls. I was so ashamed that I didn't want anyone to know. I'm Sam the big bad girl who is unbreakable and tough. But there I was totally broken and lost."

"Sam you should not be ashamed. That pathetic excuse of a man, is the one who should be ashamed." Freddie said, he and Sam had become better friends since their brief relationship.

"Anyways back to the story." Spencer said.

"So about four weeks of her being here and us sleeping in the same bed both having realized our feelings for each other, I decided that I was done waiting and I kissed her, and it was history from there." He kissed her on the lips.  
"I'm sorry we kept it from you but you both have to promise you won't tell anyone."  
"We won't." They said in unisince.

Later that day. Freddie and Carly went on a date leaving Sam and Spencer alone.

"So you know now that Carly knows you can move back into my room you don't have to sleep upstairs anymore." He brushed her hair behind her ear and pulled her into a kiss. They curled up together on the couch watching Sam's favorite movie. They ended up falling asleep. Spencer woke up to Carly coming home. Him and Sam sat up and asked how her date went.  
"It was fun." She said sitting next to them on the couch.

"What did you two do all night?" Carly asked.

"Pretty much this." Sam responded, gesturing to the tv.

"Sounds fun." Carly responded.

"You know we should all go on a trip. Like a couple's double date getaway thing" Sam said out of nowhere.

"Oh my god that would be so much fun!" Carly exclaimed.

"I'm down." Spencer said. Kissing her head.

Just then Freddie walked in, he had been spending a lot of time there lately. His mom was away of some retreat thing.

"Hey hey what goes on." Freddie said walking over and kissing Carly.

They told him about the plan and he agreed.

"Momma's hungry." Sam said looking at Spencer.

"You guys hungry?" Spencer asked his sister and Freddie.  
"No we ate after the movie."

"Okay. Come on Sammy let go get some dinner." He stood up taking Sam by the hand. They walked hand in hand out of the apartment. He took her to her favorite restaurant. They enjoyed their dinner and took their time alone before heading back home. They stepped outside and it suddenly was pouring. Spencer to laugh a little bit.

"What's so funny Spence."  
"Nothing it's just. Okay don't laugh at me. But I have always had a fantasy about a girl I love in the pouring rain."  
"So why haven't you in your 27 years?"

"I've never met a girl worth it until now. With that he held face and he kissed her. It was like the world around them stopped and they were the only people alive. She made his heart beat slower and faster all at the same time.

"I am so in love with you." Sam said looking at him so intently it was as if she was staring into his soul.

"Lets go before we get sick."

They held hands and ran through the rain and back to the apartment.


End file.
